Words of wisdom according to Mom

My oldest daughter graduated this past June. I had bought a HUGE graduation card that I intended to give her on graduation day, however, with the hustle and bustle of everything, it sat empty on the counter for almost a month.

My idea was to write down words of wisdom that I wish someone had told me upon coming an adult. Unfortunately, I became an adult at 15 when I had my first child. Yes, I was a teen Mom and no I do not think the TV series Teen Mom (or whatever it is called) is a good idea at all.

Needless to say, I have learned a lot over the last 22 years and wanted my daughter to have the wisdom (or hard lessons learned) from me, the one who wishes she would have been told these things several decades ago!

Don’t mind my grammar or slang. I wrote them down just as I would speak them to her. My hope in doing it that way was that she will hopefully hear my voice (and see my facial expressions) as she reads them to herself.

I had several people ask for a list they could print out after she posted a picture of the card on her Facebook, so here it is!

Just click the print icon at the end and you will be able to print out a printer friendly version where you can customize by removing pictures, ads, etc…

Words of Wisdom According to Mom

by Bridget Carlson / nuttyhiker.com

1. Cherish each day, you never know when it will be your last.
2. Don’t spend your money on stupid shit, you can’t take it with you when you die.
3. Pay for everything in cash, credit card debt sucks balls!
4. Keep a clean house, you never know when someone will visit.
5. Don’t try to keep up with the Jones’, they suck and are broke anyway.
6. Always have an emergency fund. Aim for $1000
7. Have lots of inside plants. They make the inside air cleaner and will make you feel accomplished keeping them alive.
8. Don’t kill the plants.
9. Keep your husband fed. Men are assholes when they are hungry.
10. Watch what you eat. The older you get, the fatter you get. It sucks!
11. Don’t say things out of anger. Words hurt more than being ran over by a fire engine!
12. Dress to impress, even when you are just going to Wal-Mart. Especially when going to Wal-Mart!!
13. Remember nothing is ever as bad as it may seem.
14. Never let work consume you, it will turn you into an unhappy bitch.
15. Always make time for family.
16. Cheap curtains suck! Save up for the good stuff.
17. Not all generic brands are created equal.
18. Don’t waste money on cheap shoes.
19. Keep your vehicle for as long as possible. Car payments suck!
20. Don’t buy a house unless you are ready to live there for the rest of your life. Forget the concept of “starter homes.”
21. Don’t buy used beds. Bed bugs are no joke!
22. Laugh often.
23. Never stop trying to impress your spouse.
24. TV will rot your brain, get outside and explore instead.
25. Dance often, even when people are looking.
26. Keep a journal. Someday when you are older, you will want to read it.
27. Always get a yearly checkup, even if you feel fine.
28. Alcohol makes people do stupid shit. You have my genes which means getting drunk will make you take all of your clothes off and run in public naked. You have been WARNED!
29. Don’t lie. A lie hurts more than the truth.
30. Stick to flats or low heels. The women in our family are not graceful.
31. Own up to your mistakes and learn from them.
32. Give back to the less fortunate when you can. That might be you or a loved one someday.
33. Always say please and thank you.
34. The internet and social networks are full of bullshit; limit their usage.
35. Don’t hold grudges. They hurt you more than them.
36. Look up at the stars every chance you can.
37. Always tell your loved ones you love them.
38. Have a date night with your spouse at least once a month.
39. Remember the grass is greener on the other side because it was fertilized with bullshit.
40. Don’t go to bed angry; you won’t be able to sleep anyway.
41. Read books often, it will keep your mind fresh.
42. It’s ok to say no.
43. Take a relaxing bath once a week.
44. Remember to pamper yourself. Yes, it’s ok!
45. If you plan to quit your job, already have another one lined up.
46. Take pictures….LOTS OF THEM!
47. Keep your head held high, even on your worst days.
48. Don’t leave dirty dishes and trash out. Roaches suck!
49. Don’t let anyone drive you anywhere that has been drinking.
50. Go to college, even if all you can afford is online courses.
51. Never compete against anyone but yourself.
52. Don’t keep telling your significant other it is over if you don’t really mean it. Apparently, men get very annoyed by this.
53. Smile and be polite to your enemies…nothing pisses them off more!!!
54. Remember to call your Mom at least once a week.

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