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You are here: Home / Military Life / Dear Military Spouse / Husband is getting too close with other females

Husband is getting too close with other females

Posted October 11, 2012 / Last Updated April 22, 2019

Q. My husband is getting too close with other females. More specifically my husband has a problem with getting too close to girls while he is away. He doesn’t sleep with them, he just gets to the point where they fall head over heels for him. Then I always see them talking about how much they are in love with him on Facebook.

Recently I and my sons went back home for a month because we were fighting. We had a deep conversation and we were ready to get back to normal and start fresh with each other. Then on valentine’s day, I found out that he has been talking to this girl he works with and says things to her that he doesn’t say to me, like your beautiful, hot, etc.

Please tell me you have some advice for me! Or am I the one in the wrong here?

Dear Military Souse says….

Ok, what he is doing is wrong. To me, it’s the same as sleeping with them. Not everyone sees it that way, but that’s how I see it. Obviously, you see it the same way, otherwise, there wouldn’t be an issue. And for some marriages, it wouldn’t be considered cheating and the wife wouldn’t care. To each their own, every marriage is different and no one couple should judge another couple.

But obviously, in your case, it hurts you, which means it’s not right. I am assuming you have talked to him about how it makes you feel? Have you tried marriage counseling? Before anything can be “fixed” you need to know “why”. Why is he doing this? Is it filling some sort of void with him? Is he doing it just for the thrill of things?

As for the girl at work, SHAME ON HIM AND HER! Obviously, she knows he’s married. Have you confronted her about it? Personally, if it were me, I would. She has no right to get that close to your husband. It’s women like her that disgrace all other women in the Military and makes them all look bad!

Anyway, I would try to figure out why he is doing what he is doing. I was also put my foot down. I would demand he deletes all online accounts. If he wants an online account for family and friends then you can share one together. He has lost your trust and if he is serious about making this marriage work, he will do whatever it takes to earn it back.  I hope things get better for you soon!

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