First left me just say for those who don’t know me, I am petrified of snakes. I either freeze up or flip out like a crazy person on crack (all depends on if it is moving or not). I haven’t seen a snake in over 2 months out there hiking and logging Miles 4 RSS Soldiers. I blame seeing the one below and the one at the end of the trail on Norma, a regular runner out there, who jinxed me this morning as I was starting my hike, by telling me to watch out for snakes even though she hadn’t seen one that morning! Maybe she had a premonition =)
I was 2 miles in, feeling pretty good (despite the fact I started late this morning and the sun was pounding down on me) when I came very close to having my leg ripped off by this 500ft monster laying on the trail (which also wasn’t moving, which in turn left me frozen in complete fear). All I could do was stare at it and try not to make a sound, as I was not interested in it eating me for brunch. I did the only thing I knew to do…I got my phone out and skyped my husband (in Afghanistan) to come rescue me. Apparently, it was going to take him 8 months to find me, so I needed another plan of action.
I contemplated just turning around and backtracking, but my legs wouldn’t move. So instead, I skyped my husband again, trying to describe this huge monster to him. He didn’t seem to comprehend the urgency in this (or believe how big this thing was), so I took a picture and sent it to him. For some reason, I could have sworn I heard him laugh despite the fact we were only chatting and there was no sound. Then I look up and see it is now moving; turning around to head back into the grass. This is when I start flipping out and do my snake dance (which looks like someone who has to pee really bad, but their hands are in the air and they are screaming and saying things that make no sense). This is also the time when I typically start throwing things and hitting whomever may be in my path, as I freak out with the hebbie jeebies. I have nothing to throw or hit, so I get ready to take off…but wait! Now there is a huge 5ft wasp in my path. I could just see myself running and having that chase me trying to attack. So I wait, all the while looking around. It’s then that I realize that I can no longer see the snake. This can only mean one thing…it’s circling back and is going to attack me from the rear. At this point, I say screw the wasp and I run like the wind (btw I am not a runner, nor have I ever been).
For the next 2 miles I analyze every stick in the path, before getting near it. It was a very long two miles. Then I reach the end. I stand there at the beginning/end of the trail and marvel in the fact that I survived. I did it. I made it out alive. I look down in relief and notice that to my right is another freaking snake about a foot from my shoe and it’s moving. I scream and completely flip out! I look over, and it’s gone. I can’t see it anywhere. My only thought was, oh crap it’s probably behind me and is going to attack, so I start turning around in circles as fast as I can. I don’t see it. So I run to my car, jump in and lock the door (you know, just in case it decided to chase me and try to open my door). I realize that I better not let my guard down, so I search the inside of my car just to make sure a snake didn’t use a slim jim to break in and hide. Thank goodness they didn’t. I am finally safe! Whew!
So thank you Norma for jinxing me this morning! It had been about 2-3 months since I had seen a snake out there!
P.S. Sorry the picture isn’t the best quality. It’s possible that my hands were shaking really bad! For the record, yes I did close my eyes when uploading this picture, and no I will never look at this post again!